Rory's World War II-themed DAR bash is a pipperoo (even when suddenly impoverished Paris joins the proletariat as a server). But the bash goes smash when Richard confronts Mitchum Huntzberger.
Lorelai needs Richard's help with her insurance after a small fire at the Dragonfly Inn and uses the occasion to talk to him about the fact that he didn't manage to get Rory back into Yale. Although he doesn't appreciate Lorelai's reprimand, Richard has to admit that Rory is not where she should be. Meanwhile, Rory organizes a fabulous DAR party for Emily, but the evening doesn't turn out as planned when Richard confronts Mitchum Huntzberger, Logan's father, about his opinion on Rory's journalistic talents.
At the same time, Emily has an even uglier confrontation with Logan's mother about Rory and Logan's relationship. In addition, Miss Patty's 28th annual dance recital is on Thursday night, and Lorelai decides that Luke should participate in activities he likes, such as camping and fishing, instead of going to things he hates (like dance recitals) with Lorelai. Paris gets her first job.
- "Bei Mir Bist Du Shön" by The Andrews Sisters
- "Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree" by The Andrews Sisters
- "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" by The Beatles
- "Koyaanisqatsi" by Philip Glass
- "I'll Be With You in Apple Blossom Time" by The Andrews Sisters
- Molloy by Samuel Beckett
- Sookie – I saw my whole life pass before my eyes, that's how traumatic it was...not that it's been a bad life, although I could have skipped seeing Mummenschanz.
- Lorelai – So, Mutt and Jeff, what's the prognosis there?
- Nora – We're lunching with Grover Norquist.
- Nora – We need to take a swing here, and Babe Ruth sits before us.
- Richard – Emily, please. It's Rory. What she tackles, she conquers. This girl could name the state capitals at 3, recite the periodic table at 4, discuss Schopenhauer's influence on Nietzsche when she was 10.
- Rory – Now, there must be a color photo of the Hollywood Canteen.
- Paris – I'm a pauper. I'll be playing a hurdy-gurdy on street corners and selling pencils out of a tin cup.
- Lorelai – You haven't been camping in forever. Be Grizzly Adams.
- Richard – But if you heed the word of Mortimer Adler, one needs to read a classic three times to fully comprehend its meaning...I wonder if Mortimer ever read Euclid's geometry three times.
- Rory – Whoa! Treat her gently there, boys. Bette's life was tough enough.
- Paris – I'd love a performance review. Come on, be my Dave Navarro.
- Paris – It was T.S. Eliot who said, "Criticism is as inevitable as breathing."
- Paris – Karl Marx has come alive for me today. I never understood what he was yammering about before, and now it just seems so obviously wrong that those who control capital should make their fortunes off the labor of the working class.
- Paris – Wow, you're always so Desmond Tutu-ey. This is refreshing.
- Paris – I bet you the Romanovs never RSVP-ed either. They got theirs. Capitalist scum.
- Vivian – Rumsfeld himself would probably call her and thank her for the donation she made on the way in. Hillbilly armor will be a thing of the past.
- Lorelai – So it's the birth of Lucille Ball?
- Richard – Well, when I said great, I didn't mean she was Ben Bradlee yet, but she could be.