A night at the fights, Rory has it out with Jess, and Lorelai goes a rhetorical round or two with Christopher. But Lorelai has another chance at swept-off-her-feet romance: Kirk asks her out on a date.
To Lorelai's horror, Kirk asks her out on a date after being encouraged by Luke. Emily's lunch with Lorelai at Luke's ends badly. Christopher shows up uninvited at Friday night dinner and quarrels with both Lorelai and Rory before Emily asks him to leave. Rory runs into Jess and they each betray their hurt feelings -- Rory about Shane and Jess about not hearing from Rory all summer. Francie targets Paris and Rory for a world of trouble if Rory doesn't stop Paris from running the student council like a dictatorship.
- The book that Jess is reading in the diner is "A Confederacy of Dunces" by John Kennedy Toole.
- The title of the episode comes from a scene in which Lorelai complains about having a cold. She says everypne gets a cold and she wishes she could wake up and say "Hey everybody I've got Haunted Leg."
- "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge
- "Love is in the Air" by John Paul Young
- "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen.
- A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
- Lorelai – And apparently a big Annie Oakley fan.
- Michel – I am doing nothing. Ben, however, has dropped dead from laughter.
- Lorelai – I'll join a local community theater and I'll drive you to soccer. It'll work for many years, until the FBI comes to get me, and by that time you're on your own.
- Rory – I have something to tell you.
- Lorelai – Is it about Vince Foster?
- Lorelai – When I was in school Linda Lee was class treasurer and she could not keep her knees closed if they were magnetized. Hanes should have given her a endorsement deal.
- Sookie – You don't dictate to an artist, you don't tell him what to do. I mean, no one ever walked up to Degas and said, "Hey, pal, easy with the dancers, enough already. Draw a nice fruit bowl once in a while, will ya?"
- Lorelai – Rule number two – no pageboy haircuts.
- Lorelai: – Saying yes to lunch with my mother is like saying "Sounds fun!" to a ride with Clemenza.
- Francie – You're obviously the Meyer Lansky behind this organization.
- Francie – I want you to go back to Margaret Thatcher and tell her to play ball...she'll make Jimmy Carter look like Martin Sheen
- Francie – Wise up, Goldilocks.
- Rory – What are we, French skating judges?
- Francie – This is politics. If you've got a problem, tell it to Noam Chomsky.
- Emily – How is your Caesar salad dressing prepared?
- Luke – I'd have to call Paul Newman and ask him.
- Madeline – ...and every year people wind up with those VH1 "Before they were stars" pictures, and I for one would like to stop the humiliation.
- Louise – Helmut Newton is my godfather.
- Paris – You want the first stand I make to be a fashion choice? It would be my gays in the military
- Paris – But the next genius that comes up with a brilliant plan to put an Elizabeth Arden in the chemistry class can bite my ass.
- Jess – Plus the two of you walking around the other day like some damn Andy Hardy movie.